What to write about? I just realized that I had tricked myself into thinking that I had to write something clever - that’s what happens when I spend the first waking hour of the day reading blogs and digital newspapers - it rubs off - thinking that I have to show up to the page all put together, neatly groomed and ordered thoughts. Long past the times of throwing books on mindful parenting back in the closet and donating them later to the local library (see yesterday’s blog), I am still looking for order. While a part of me (I have yet to figure out which part) is looking for neat categories, my brain frolics freely and is developing all kinds of integrate concepts and performance ideas. It feels a bit like having a really deep conversation in a coffeeshop while the waiter is wiping the table and putting up the chairs. It’s hard to completely lean in to the conversation when you have to hold on to your chair so it doesn’t get moved out underneath you and your elbows can’t touch the table because that just got cleaned and is still a bit wet.
Order has to be meaningful somewhere in this process? Corita Kent writes about how structures create meaningful restraints which speaks to the fact that play and creative process needs structure. A place to lean against, to push off from, a container in which you can go wild without worrying about getting lost. What is my structure then within the chaotic seeming process? The time? The size and synapses of my brain? My body as container? Structure is an individual choice. Just like each one of us needs different foods to feel nourished, different spaces and furniture to feel supported, we do need different structures to feel secure in order to let our imagination work freely and at its best. My structure, one I always can rely on, one that’s always there for me, is my body.